I don't know what I wanna write down..how about...Something about what I have been though these months, what I had before, what I want in the future....

The first time I leave my parents. 

The first time I saw my father hardly hold his tear;however, I did not cry at the airport. I want them to remenber a flesh-looking, happy, adorable daughter. I thought I never gonna cry, I thought I am a strong person.But not really...  

The first place I land on is airport....a totally new country, at least for me, I was excited.... bookstore, coffee shop, little toy store, everything...I was sitting on the chair, watching the "new" ppl pass by,  just like the first time I went to HK...that is a long time ago though.

Recall I saw my host at the first time. I told myself, there we go ...just like the person I imagine. I thought a lot before I officially meet her....After all, she is a nice person although we'd been though some unhappy thing between us, actually, between two different culture.

yes, I still think she is a nice lady. According to what she said, I am a talktive girl even though I have language prob. at the very beginning.

The first time I went to my school, not much different from what the movie show.

The first cry is when I talked to my parents at my birthday, my mon said,"I'd been though a hard time when you struggle to come out 17 years ago.  I really happy to have you.But you still give me a hard time." How dare I tune on the PC camera. I can't....My tear could not help flowing out...My heart crushed thoroughly. Sorry mon...I have no idea what I can do now...I swear I never want you to be hurt. But life fool everyone. I love you.

The first time, I feel unsecure about my stable friendship...I forgot about when it happen...Nov. Jan. or Feb. ..whenever ...I gave a long-distance call to my good friend just like I used to do ...she did not pick it up...I called it forever,but no one response....she finally shut down the power....I was mad that time...I did not know what happen...I throwed my anger to her e-mail box....I check my e-mail all the time since then...After a weeks...I finally heared from her ....She told me what happen to her....The first time she was not brave enough to tell me her scord...After that,We are make out a promise....No matter what happen....It won't be ashame to tell.....we will stand out to support each other ever...How many 5 years a ppl can have? Not as many as you think...I keep it in my mind.....

The first depression period is in my host mon's mon's house....maybe coz the house located in the mount beside the cayon.. My bed face to the big window. In the morning, I looked at the whold bunch green tree under the sky, I cant not hept but think about how far I was from my parents. In the afternoon, I lay down, I want to take a nap. I look though the window. Lots of lots things,  my good frinds, my family, just popped up. Maybe the wildopen circumstance make my have too much to think...i feel horrible in that vacation.

 

 

 

蚕爬着爬着,在不知不觉中蜕变化堞   鱼游着游着,在游历中从小溪进入大海   人走着走着,随着时间走出自己的天空   动物跟植物最大的区别就是---动   那天在走回家的路上... 看着路边的景色...那树..那景..那路..那人.. 可以用心花怒放形容我当时的心情... 可以用蹦蹦跳跳形容我自己当时的动作... 突然跳的角度大于90度..愣了一下... 在我继续移动的时候...我发现一切动的方向变了... 当每天都在观察着在我前方的事物时...来一个回马枪... 世界原来可以如此不同... 但差距和眼光原来如此遥远....   以前以为自己看到了"我眼前的世界..." 现在发现我被字面上的眼"前"迷惑了... 前在这个意义上有"前"有"后"... 惊喜的发现以前看到的"一"片景色...其实仅仅是"半"片而已... 有些伤感我失去了一些...但更多的一份愉悦... 我能够看到从今往后走在我人生路上另一半天空   默默的提醒自己...我在动..世界在动..人生在动..... 别忘了...别忘了好好想想往哪动..怎么动... 动的方向决定了很多很多..... 也许是一个世界...眼中的世界....   蝴蝶有没有想过为什么她不能"化蚕"呢?

　　早上睁开眼想看到的是什么，打开窗想听到的是什么，推开门想知道的是什么，我到底需要什么，追求什么．突然会在某一个瞬间迷茫．．．稍纵即逝的影像，现在真的记不起了；回头看那段青葱岁月，模糊的笑脸后面的故事仿佛已经淡忘；曾经在身边陪伴的人，有的也已经悄悄的逃离了自己历史的舞台．．以自己为圆心划一个圆，圆代表了我所拥有的记忆，我慢慢的感觉到圆的边界在慢慢的模糊，消淡，在我迷茫的那一瞬间，是否在担心我一天圆的半径会变成零呢．．．人的曾经拥有跟执着最终还是底不过时间的雕琢，在一生就要终结的那天，又有多少人计算得出一生发生过的所有呢．．这重要吗？

有一天,上帝对我说,你有罪,我会给与你惩罚,你身边所有你所爱的东西,你所珍惜的人,将不会在陪你走下去.

 

然后,突然有一天醒来,发现上帝并不喜欢开玩笑,最亲的人跟我说,你长大了,以后世界是你的了,我们在没有能里和力气陪你走下去了,去吧.坚强走下去.

 

上帝嘲笑我,谁跟你开玩笑.

 

我心想,对啊,这种玩笑谁会开得起呢.但是!你不是上帝吗?!

 

这么说,真的没有人给我保证以后的路了,连上帝都不能.谁能? 我吗?

 

你能给我一个限期吗?!6年可以吗?! 白纸黑字的写下六年,可以吗?!

 

不行!! 最亲的人对我说